November 14, 2006
July 20, 2006
Warning!
Warning sign generator is one of those sites that you see and wonder why I didn't think of that. 
May 19, 2006
What a tool!
Holy cow! Check out this weenie roaster. It scares me.
October 31, 2005
Ewwwww
From a story on the BBC "Beavers in 'wild' after centuries"
The beaver was hunted almost to extinction for its fur and the pain-relieving properties of its anal gland secretions.
Who first figured that out and who did they tell about it? How do you explain that you figured this out?
That's why it's called ASSprin!
How Many Euros Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?
NPR : How Many Euros Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb? is a great example of regulations gone amok. How do you balance regulation and common sense?
September 09, 2005
Funny names
I was playing with the kids and we were talking about why there are boogers. I was thinking that there is no good term for them. I then tried to think of the grossest term for snot. I came up with head yogurt or nose yogurt. Any one know of any that are worse?
September 08, 2005
AAAAAHHHHH
The Many Scary Faces Of Courtney Love is litterally the creepiest website I have every seen.
If LA is Courtney's first home, then rehab must be her second and the courtroom her third.
Another complimentary site is Awful Plastic Surgery
Update: Also check out Celebs Without Makeup
September 06, 2005
Funny rises from unfunny
Herald Sun: Sean Penn's rescue bid sinks [05sep05]
EFFORTS by Hollywood actor Sean Penn to aid New Orleans victims stranded by Hurricane Katrina foundered badly overnight, when the boat he was piloting to launch a rescue attempt sprang a leak.
Penn had planned to rescue children waylaid by Katrina's flood waters, but apparently forgot to plug a hole in the bottom of the vessel, which began taking water within seconds of its launch.
The actor, known for his political activism, was seen wearing what appeared to be a white flak jacket and frantically bailing water out of the sinking vessel with a red plastic cup.
When the boat's motor failed to start, those aboard were forced to use paddles to propel themselves down the flooded New Orleans street.
Asked what he had hoped to achieve in the waterlogged city, the actor replied: "Whatever I can do to help."
With the boat loaded with members of Penn's entourage, including a personal photographer, one bystander taunted the actor: "How are you going to get any people in that thing?"
April 07, 2005
WTF is Best Buy thinking?
I know they don't hire the best help at Best Buy, but come on this is crazy. Arresting a man for paying with $2 bills is the height of stupidity.
April 03, 2005
Tattoos: the new litmus test
The was a great post on Nealz Nuze the other day that I saw in passing. It was about tattoos. I saw it and downloaded the wmv file it referenced. I just got around to watching it. OMG I feel out of my chair. I am not usually an SNL fan. The skits usually are too long by half, and the guest hosts unwatchable. This was the essence of humor. It was short and biting, but it also had a deeper point to it. Well done!
March 02, 2005
My nerd score
March 01, 2005
ROTFLMAO
February 28, 2005
Are you local?
I am looking forward to the forthcoming League of Gentlemenmovie. We loved the tv show. This was the funniest and most twisted show I have ever watched. You can't pop in and out. There are a lot of subtle jokes that build on each other.
January 30, 2005
Iraqi Voting Disrupts News Reports of Bombings
ScrappleFace: Iraqi Voting Disrupts News Reports of Bombings
by Scott Ott
(2005-01-30) -- News reports of terrorist bombings in Iraq were marred Sunday by shocking graphic images of Iraqi "insurgents" voting by the millions in their first free democratic election.
Despite reporters' hopes that a well-orchestrated barrage of mortar attacks and suicide bombings would put down the so-called 'freedom insurgency', hastily-formed battalions of rebels swarmed polling places to cast their ballots -- shattering the status quo and striking fear into the hearts of the leaders of the existing terror regime.
Hopes for a return to the stability of tyranny waned as rank upon rank of Iraqi men and women filed out of precinct stations, each armed with the distinctive mark of the new freedom guerrillas -- an ink-stained index finger, which one former Ba'athist called "the evidence of their betrayal of 50 years of Iraqi tradition."
Journalists struggled to put a positive spin on the day's events, but the video images of tyranny's traitors choosing a future of freedom overwhelmed the official story of bloodshed and mayhem.
January 19, 2005
New JibJab Parody
January 08, 2005
Picture of the day
January 06, 2005
Makeup does wonders I guess
December 31, 2004
Worst ideas of the year
The NY Post has a column detailing the worst ideas of the year. A couple of my favorites:
- Adriana telling Christopher she was working for the feds.
- Three words: "Carnivale" - Season 2
- Giving Jason Alexander another sitcom. Yes Virginia, there is a "Seinfeld" curse, and this man has it bad.
- Selecting another Massachusetts liberal as your party nominee for President.
- Making a movie with Ben Affleck in it.
- Believing in baseball curses
Anyone have any others to add?
December 29, 2004
Funny holiday essay
A great holiday essay from Annabelle Gurwitch on NPR
December 04, 2004
Are you Dave Gorman?
I loved watching Are You Dave Gorman? a few years ago. I just saw this interview with Dave about his new show-dvd-book-extravaganza Dave Gorman's Googlewhack! Adventure. If you get a chance to see anything by Dave please do. He is hilarious.
November 04, 2004
October 29, 2004
Printable Halloween masks
October 07, 2004
New Iraqi secret weapon
Davids Medienkritik has a link to a video showing the testing of Iraqi terrorists new secret weapon. Talk about a quagmire.
September 25, 2004
Funny top ten list
From the September 23 Late Show with David Letterman, the
"Top Ten Messages Left on Cat Stevens' Answering Machine." Late
Show home page: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/
10. "We at Iraqi Airlines heard what happened, so we'd like to
offer you 20,000 frequent-fatwa miles."
9. "I've been waiting to pick you up at Dulles for three days.
Where you at?"
8. "Hi, this is Hall and Oates. How can we go about joining
Al-Qaeda?"
7. "It's Johnnie Cochran. Without a trial in court, you must not
deport. Call me."
6. "I'm calling from CBS News to confirm reports of a cat that can
fly a plane."
5. "It's Britney. Sorry you couldn't make it to my fake wedding."
4. "I must have the wrong number--I was looking for Steven Katz."
3. "Dude, It's Osama. I have an extra ticket to see James Taylor.
You in?"
2. "It's Casey Kasem. Good news! You're on the Jihad Top 100."
1. "It's Sean Penn and Michael Moore. Wanna triple date with the
Dixie Chicks?"
September 15, 2004
The little train who couldn't
September 13, 2004
Rather biased...
From a Rather funny email from a friend:
September 06, 2004
Joke for the day brought to you by fortune(6)
Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after
his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar.
"Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the
microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the
bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers. So Stevie
Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow! I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven."
Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says:
"'Close to You'. Hit it, boys!"
-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller
[Listening to: Comedian - - (01:21:26)]
August 31, 2004
A bag of art to go please
From the BBC via things that piss me off:
A janitor at Tate Modern in London threw out a work of art because he thought it was just a bag of garbage; the artwork, entitled 'Recreation of First Public Demonstration of Auto-Destructive Art,' was in fact a bag of garbage.
May 01, 2004
This is a useful form of identification.
April 28, 2004
Shrek the sheep gets sheared
From Yahoo:
Shrek the 9-year-old merino wether is photographed before he has his fleece shorn at the Golden Gate Lodge in Cromwell, New Zealand, Wednesday, April 28, 2004. Shrek's fleece is believed to be 6 years old after the animal was found on the Bendigo Station hilltops during a muster on April 15. (AP Photo/FOTOPRESS, Ross Land)
Book a minute
This one made me laugh. The Book a Minute site.
We at Book-A-Minute understand that your time is valuable. You want to experience the wonder and excitement of the fine art of literature, but reading actual books requires a significant time investment. We've got the solution for you. Our ultra-condensed books are just the ticket.
April 27, 2004
Funny KITH quote
A funny excerpt from an interview with Dave Foley
TVGO: I hear you're a fan of coffee. Or should I say you're an addict?
Foley: I'm not sure I'd call it an addiction. An overwhelming affection? A necessary affliction, how about that?
TVGO: How many cups a day?
Foley: It depends. When I'm working it can get up around 50 cups. It takes determination. That's black coffee, sometimes with a shot of espresso in it to thicken it up. Today, I probably won't have any at all. But I will have tea. I will probably have a couple pots of tea throughout the day. If I don't have to perform I can go without coffee. I tend to be an overly relaxed person and coffee helps me be a little more alert.
TVGO: Have you considered switching to crystal meth?
Foley: Of course I've considered it. I can't discuss that with TV Guide. I tried cocaine. I didn't really like it. Not so much the cocaine, but the people that came with the cocaine. Coffee comes with much better group of people — just go to any Starbucks.
January 19, 2004
Fashion victim.
hmmmmm... So many comments come to mind. poor Janeane. How can you look so bad and yet be a fashion victim?
Churchill's Parrot
It appears that unlike it's master Churchill's parrot is alive and well. It also have the nasty habit of saying "F*** Hitler! F*** the Nazis!". I wonder where it learned that?
January 14, 2004
Legal humor
No wonder legal work costs so much.
So this is how they cleaned him up!
Saddam sure did need the Fab 5. He looked like a hobo.
World funniest Joke
The world's funniest joke - official
Thursday October 3, 01:05 PM
By Corey Ullman
LONDON (Reuters) - After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke has been revealed!
In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humour the British Association for the advancement of Science asked Internet users around the world to submit their favourite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.
More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator. in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.
People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:
PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."
Americans and Canadians favoured jokes where people were made to look stupid.
TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'
"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"
Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:
"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'
"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"
Death earned big laughs in Scotland:
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:
"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"
The survey revealed other fun facts:
-- Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.
-- If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.
-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk